All posts by aalbrson

Halloween Contest Part 2

Ok now for the top prize. The winner of the Halloween giveaway for the Byzantium Blu Ray nd second place the Trick r Treat DVD.

The winner of the first place and the Byzantium Blu Ray, and the winner may also choose to take a DVD instead of Blu Ray, is Jim Watson. Jim Please send me your physical address to albrson@gmail.com. Also send me your preference of Blu Ray or DVD.

Second place winner of the Trick r Treat DVD is William Bozarth. WIll please send me your physical address to me t allbrson@gmail.com.

Congratulations to both of you

Countess Perverse- I Don’t Speak No Spanish Review

Lina Romay- Countess Perverse

Lina Romay as Sylvia in Countess Perverse

A Word About My Countess Perverse, I don’t speak no Spanish review

For this review of Jess Franco’s Countess Perverse, I am going to do something slightly different. What’s that you say? Am I going to do a review that covers the technical aspects of the film, as well as it’s deeper meaning in society? Hell no, if you are looking for that go elsewhere. Am I going to refrain from off-color remarks, or sexual and anatomical humor? In a Franco film, get real.

No what I am going to do is review this film, in my own style, having only watched it in it’s original language, with no dubbing or subtitles. Why? Because that’s the only copy I had on hand, and come on, it’s Jess Franco. The dialogue isn’t really that important is it?

I have tried to watch foreign films on their native language before. A good film should be enjoyable even if you aren’t able to understand the language. Acting is more than just speaking, and a movie is more than just dialogue. I always get lazy though, and run back to my comfort zone. Not having a fall back bunker for Countess Perverse left me with two choices. Watch the film, or don’t watch it.

I watched it. Having read a short synopsis, I wasn’t totally blind, still I found myself wishing I could speak Spanish. Basically Countess Perverse is a retelling of The Most Dangerous Game ala Jess Franco. Which means lots of sex and nudity. Lots of nudity. Lots. Did I mention there was lots of nudity? Anyone with much familiarity with Franco would expect a large amount of nudity, and Countess Perverse delivers.

Countess Perverse

Countess Perverse opens up with Bob (Robert Woods) and Moira (Tania Busslier), finding a nude girl washed up on their beach. They take her back to their house where she wakes up screaming. Boy does she scream. It’s annoying to, so much that you tend to forget she’s naked and just hope for her to shut the hell up. I’m pretty sure the English translation of “AHHHHHH” would be pretty close to “AHHHHH”, so I was getting a clue some bad shit had went down.

Then in flashback she tells of washing up on another island (bad fucking day for her, huh?), this time fully clothed. I’ll add here that fully clothed is usually still pretty sexy in a Franco film. There she is taken in by the swank and stylish Count and Countess Zaroff (Alice Arno and Howard Vernon.

Relativity in Countess Perverse

Relativity in Countess Perverse

One look inside their house and you realize that M.C. Escher apparently was a set designer. Seriously the inner house is almost an exact copy of the Escher Relativity piece. I sure at some point some of the Spanish mumbo jumbo had to translate to “dig that crazy staircase.”

In the house they serve the water-logged visitor (Kali Hansa) a special meal before taking turns raping her. Turns out the couple are cannibals who enjoy a good raping before hunting and barbecuing their guests. Guess it goes to show you that not every weird couple, living in a creepy ass house, on a deserted island can be trusted.

Of all the rapes I have ever seen on film, this was probably the most erotic. Don’t hate on me, I know rape is evil, no means no, but it is what it is. While the Countess goes down on her she moans, and thrashes (trying to get away? Hell most of the time she isn’t even being held down). Then the count takes his turn. While I do admire Franco for his liberal use of nudity, I could have done without Vernon’s ass and balls in my face as he thrusts away.

Flashback over we are treated to another round of Kali’s annoying screaming. Thankfully Bob shoots her up to calm her down and she passes out. They then decide to take her back to the island. OH NOES!!! They are in league with the evil Zaroffs.

After dropping of Kali, we find out that the next intended lunchable is Sylvia, played by the ravishing hot Lina Romay. If you aren’t familiar with Lina Romay, she is a Euro goddess, husband to Jess Franco and star of many of his films.

Bob and Moira pick up Sylvia for some hot ass loving, which is actually pretty boring. Especially the more explicit scene between Busslier and Romay. Did I just say lesbian sex involving full nudity was boring? Yes, sadly I did. There was absolutely nothing exciting or sensual about it. It just looked technical and overly directed.

More than boring it was actually a bit annoying as the sounds didn’t even seem to match the on-screen action (and I use action very loosely). Maybe it was the language barrier, but like “AHHHH” I would assume sucking and slurping sounds don’t lose a lot in translation. The only thing to hold my attention was Busslier’s enormous “welcome to the jungle” bush. I just kept wanting to comb it, or pick it, or apply some Dapper Dan, anything to tame it.

The lesbian triste is broken up by Woods (FINALLY) and we see the first hints of jealousy between the threesome. After he gets his fill of hairy Eurobabe, the three take off for the island where they go skinny dipping. Romay and Busslier frolic in the surf showing their plump, edible asses, but are soon joined by Woods. Dong alert!

When they tire of tanning their privates they venture up to the house to meet the Count and Countess Perverse. Once again they are served what appears to be almost raw meat. The count himself is gnawing on a ridiculously large bone. Bob doesn’t appear to be enjoying his meal, and soon angrily leaves the table while Romay picks at her food.

Bob and Moira leave Sylvia and head back to their own island. Later that night Sylvia and the Countess engage in some lesbian sex that is far more interesting than the earlier scene with Moira. Unfortunately it’s still boring when compared to what’s easily available on the internet.

Later, wandering around the house, nearly nude in a sexy borrowed lingerie, Romay walks in on the perverted pair as they are butchering Kali. Realizing that the couple are cannibals, and finally noticing the mounted human head on the wall, she collapses.

When she wakes up, she is outside the house completely nude (except for shoes). Realizing that shit just got real she takes off running. Soon the countess, nude except for shoes and a quiver comes after her with a hunting bow. The chase through the bush is on. There has to be a good bush joke here, but I’m not willing to work for it right now.

Meanwhile back on the other island, Bob appears still tortured about leaving Sylvia to her destiny as a main course. Apparently he is in love with Romay, and who can blame him? Her boobs are much bigger than Busslier’s, and her bush is much more under control. He breaks it off with Moira by choking her to death. The betrayal is so shocking, that Moira doesn’t even let her arms drop after she dies.

Back on the island of Countess Perverse, the hunt goes on. Fortunately for the viewer, the hunt consists of a lot of close up shots of Lina Romay’s round, fine, ass as she crawls through the brush. That mixed with shots of her running with big bouncing breasts, and full frontal shots of the much less follicularly challenged Alice Arno keep it exciting.

Bob reaches the island as things are coming to a head. He too is armed with a bow and arrow, but thankfully both he and the count are fully dressed. One can only assume that the bows are a result of gun control on nearly deserted Mediterranean islands. The Countess catches up to Romay and shoots her in the back of the shoulder. Bob then tops the hill and shoots Arno in the back.

Bob goes to the dying Sylvia, as the Count appears. He picks her up, crying and marches into he surf with her, walking until they are both soon underwater. Meanwhile the Vernon stares at his dead wife, wondering how best to prepare wife stew.

Ok so I really can’t comment on the dialogue or much of the actual plot of Countess Perverse since I could only understand a couple of words in the entire movie. However plot and story are almost always second to style in Euro films. I have only seen a few of Franco’s films, but this is one of the most beautiful. Even discounting the acres of nude female flesh, the film is beautiful. His camera catches the beauty of the island paradise. It also, combined with the score sets a creepy mood with scenes that otherwise might be just the opposite.

Approaching the house in Countess Perverse

Brooding in Countess Perverse

Still the main draw to this film are the lovely ladies. Romay is a Franco staple, and what a sexy staple she is. The fact that her, Busslier, and Arno spend more time completely nude than dressed doesn’t hurt at all. The film is basically a soft core porno, with lots of female crotch shots and several penile displays. The most commonly available versions actually have hardcore inserts (pun intended) added at the behest of the producers. I can only hope these real sex acts aren’t as boring as most of the suggested sex actually in the film. Only the rape scene has any real interest as far as titillation ( DONT HATE ON ME), and that’s the worst thing about Countess Perverse.

Outside of the bouncing breasts and crotch shots, it’s actually pretty boring. True that’s a harsh assessment for a viewing in a language I didn’t understand, but I can’t see the dialogue being that big of an influence. It is a Franco film, not a Tarantino after all. There is also very little violence or blood for a film that deals with cannibals. The deaths at the end are completely bloodless, and only a few scenes with any blood at all. The ridiculous mounted head trophy inspires more giggles than chills.

Some moments are actually a bit silly. Like why the meat they are eating always looks rawer than the meat cooking on the fire. With lack of an understandable dialogue, I can only assume the rawness was meant to add a somewhat gruesome note to the movie.

Don’t watch Countess Perverse expecting a hardcore, violent cannibal tale like The Hills Have Eyes. Don’t watch it expecting a thrilling action adventure films or hot lesbian action either. If you watch Countess Perverse, watch it to see one of Franco’s most beautifully filmed movies. Watch it to enjoy the voluptuous Lina Romay Watch it to marvel at the 70s Euro bush on full display. Most of all watch it to step into another age and style of film making.

Cannibal House in Countess Perverse

The House on the Hill

Countess Perverse (Original Director’s Cut)


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Lovelace movie review (2013)

Lovelace movie review- Amanda Seyfried

Amanda Seyfried as Linda Lovelace

Lovelace movie review

Does a Lovelace movie review belong on a cult movie blog?

When I started this blog, one thing I was determined to do was stay on topic and on course, so doing a Lovelace movie review could easily be seen as straying off course. There’s no way I can say that Lovelace is a cult movie, although it might one day fall into that category. However since it is the story of Linda Lovelace, star of arguably the most famous porn film ever. A film that would be the first porn film to cross over and find mainstream success, Deep Throat.

Deep Throat fits the criteria for cult and exploitation in almost every way. It was never supposed to be as popular as it became. Likewise the story of it’s creation, and it’s stars rise and fall, beats any other exploitation film’s backstory that I have ever heard. Thus I believe that the Lovelace movie deserves a place here.

Lovelace movie review-synopsis

Lovelace stars Amanda Seyfried as Linda Lovelace. It also stars Robert Patrick and Sharon Stone as Linda’s religious, conservative parents, James Franco as Hugh Hefner, and Peter Sarsgaard, as Lovelace’s husband. It also has a supporting cast that includes Eric Roberts, Debi Mazar, and Chloe Sevigny.

Lovelace movie review James Franco as Hugh Hefner

James Franco as Hugh Hefner

The film is the story of Linda Lovelace and the making of Deep Throat, but it is more the story of abusive relationships, and the gravity that holds women in them. Lovelace is told predominantly Linda’s viewpoint, and many of the “facts” about the abuse have been disputed. Still, no matter how accurate the story, a compelling story it is nonetheless.

The story is broken into two major parts. Both tell the same basic story, but from a slightly different perspective and with different amounts of information released First we are introduced to Linda and her conservative religious family. We follow her as she meets and then marries Chuck Traynor. Falling into financial problems, Chuck convinces Linda to perform in an adult film. This film became Lovelace.

Deep Throat becomes a huge hit, and soon the couple are the talk of the town. They appear at private showings and even meet a young Hugh Hefner. However, cracks are starting to show, as Chuck appears to be jealous, more of Linda’s fame than her sexual partners. There’s also hints that he has borrowed a little too deeply from the producers of Deep Throat.

Lovelace movie review Amanda Seyfried

Amanda Seyfriend in Lovelace

The second part of Deep Throat tells roughly the same story, but gives us more info about Chuck and Linda’s life. Information based on Linda’s account of their relation ship and from her book Ordeal. This time we see Chuck’s proclivity to violence early on in his marriage. We also see how controlling he is of Linda, both in public and private. The audience is shown where Linda’s bruises are from, and we see Chuck force her into prostitution that is basically gang rape.

The film ends as Linda has published her book Ordeal, and is actively working as an anti porn crusader. She reconciles with her family, who accept their part in Linda Lovelace’s creation. Before the final credits role, we are updated as to the whereabouts of the central characters. Both Linda and Chuck sadly passed away in the early 2000s, so the whole truth will never be known about Deep Throat and Linda Lovelace.

Lovelace movie review, my thoughts

Lovelace was an enjoyable watch, but it did have some flaws. The film was based almost entirely on Linda Lovelace’s account of what happened, thus you have to remember it is a one-sided story. Many of Linda’s claims, especially surrounding her being forced into doing porn, are disputed by people involved in the film. However most people do agree that Chuck Traynor was an abusive husband, but that Linda willingly participated in Deep Throat and her other porn ventures.

It is also a very shallow film and never digs too deep into Linda’s life and career other than the abuse. It never mentions her other forays into porn and seems to claim that Deep Throat was her only porn experience. Lovelace never mentions her foray into more degrading porn including bestiality. Linda has herself admitted that it was her in the film, so it is a known fact. One can assume the film makers knew adding this would have made it harder to see Lovelace as a sympathetic character.

Linda Lovelace also appeared in a sequel to Deep Throat. While sequels are mentioned as being in the works, it is heavily implied that she retired from porn completely after Deep Throat. Once again, we can only assume it is to paint Lovelace in a more sympathetic light. Since Lovelace isn’t a documentary, you can’t fault them, but it does make the film more of a fluff piece, than if it was a bit more factual when it comes to documented facts.

Still Lovelace is a good film, even if it could have been a bit deeper. It has an excellent cast and a wonderful 70s soundtrack. Seyfried makes a wonderful Linda Lovelace, and she deserves a lot of credit for not copping out on the nude scenes. There is some internet whining about her not being willing to do full frontal, but come on! This is not an actual porno, so there was no need to go beyond topless. However not going topless would have made this little more than a Lifetime move

I have never been a huge fan of Seyfried, I have seen her in a couple of movies and neither role was very demanding. Before this Lovelace movie review, I reviewed her in Red Riding Hood, which I found ok at best. This is a much more deserving role, and she handled it well, showcasing Linda’s rise from naive girl, to celebrity, and finally to wife and mother. It is the performance of her young career so far.

James Franco was toned way down for Hugh Hefner, but he still succeeds in making Hef appear more sleazy than he does in real life. That goofy smile is still there, but he does try to control it at least. I’m not a fan of Franco, but this was a good role for him and he didn’t blow it at least.

Sharon Stone in Lovelace movie review

Sharon Stone in Lovelace

Sharon Stone, no longer the young sex symbol from Basic Instinct, tackles the role of Lovelace’s devout mother. Stone gives a great performance, showing off what it was that made her famous. Ok, maybe it was her vagina that made her famous, and she didn’t show that, but she did show that she can still act.

Lovelace movie review final thoughts

Anyone with any interest in Deep Throat should give Lovelace a look. While it is a somewhat glossed over version of the event’s it is probably as close as we will ever get to knowing what went on. For those looking for a sleazy sex fest, you will probably be a bit disappointed. It does feature the beautiful Amanda Seyfried topless in multiple scenes, but it never sinks into being a sleaze fest.

With the subject matter of the film some nudity and sex were needed, and any Lovelace movie review can’t help but mention it. Anyone with a desire to see Lovelace should not be offended by it. Seyfried is gorgeous, and I know there are people who have been waiting to see her nude. They won’t be disappointed. I was slightly bummed that we didn’t get to see Debi Mazar nude, as I really thought the film was headed there.

Lovelace didn’t do enough to make it a really important film, but it’s far from a bad film. If you have any desire to know more about Linda Lovelace and Deep Throat, or just some time to kill, pick up Lovelace, and thanks for reading my Lovelace movie review.

If you enjoyed my Lovelace movie review, please leave a comment

Lovelace


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Halloween 3 review

Halloween 3 review
In celebration of the upcoming holiday, I thought I would do a quick Halloween 3 review. Halloween 3 is the epitome of a cult film. It flopped at the box office, was hated by fans, only to gain a huge following on home video. Halloween fans are still divided over it, but many consider it a classic. Personally besides the original, it is my favorite entry in the series.

Halloween 3:Season of the Witch, is probably the bravest entry ever in a horror franchise. That bravery is almost certainly the reason it was a box office failure, but it’s also one of the reason it is today held in high regard. Halloween 3 is one of the only entries in a horror franchise to not feature the series resident killer. If you don’t count the original Friday the 13th and Friday V, it’s probably the only one.

Now why would a film maker do something that stupid? Well apparently series creator John Carpenter wanted to take the series in a new direction. Instead of having a yearly slasher-fest each year with the same masked killer, he wanted to explore a different Halloween themed horror film each year. Thus was born Halloween 3.

Halloween 3 is the story of Dr. Dan Challis, who while investigating a strange death, finds a sinister mask maker with a diabolical plot to take Halloween back to it’s pagan roots. Conal Cochran makes the most popular masks on the market the Silver Shamrock. Silver Shamrock is also one of the most famous and popular ditties in horror.

On the surface Cocharn seems kind and generous, but underneath lies a murderous plot. He intends to use his masks, and a chip from Stonehenge, to murder every child in America as a traditional pagan sacrifice.We are treated to a test run on a family that results in one of the creepiest, and most disturbing death scenes in a mainstream horror film.

Dr. Dan manages to escape and apparently kill Cochran, but will he be in time to save the children? He only has till midnight on Halloween to stop the doom, and time is ticking.

The Lovelace Movie release date on DVD and Blu Ray

Lovelace movie release date on DVD

Of interest to fans of exploitation cinema, the Lovelace movie release date on DVD and Blu-ray is November the 5th. If you haven’t heard Lovelace tells the story of Linda Lovelace, arguably the most notorious porn star ever, if not the most famous. Lovelace stars Amanda Seyfried as Linda Lovelace. Lovelace starred in Deepthroat, the first porn film to find mainstream commercial success. She later turned her back on the porn industry, claimed she was forced into performing in porn, including Deep Throat by her husband at the time Chuck Traynor. Lovelace claimed that Traynor abused her and forced her into not only porn but prostitution. Many have expressed doubts about Lovelace’s story but many also support it.

The real Linda Lovelace

The Lovelace movie is based upon her abusive relationship with Traynor, according to Linda’s accounts of events. It stars Amanda Seyfried, as Linda Lovelace and Peter Sarsgaard as Chuck Traynor. Lovelace also stars Sharon Stone,Robert Patrick and James Franco as Hugh Hefner. The movie is more a story about spousal abuse than about the porn industry, and aims to do more than just titillate. However, to the delight of men everywhere it has been confirmed that Seyfried will appear topless, if not fully nude, in several scenes in Lovelace. No doubt this alone will drive a lot of people to see Lovelace, and hopefully they will come away with more than a cheap thrill.

Just remember the Lovelace movie release date on DVD and Blu Ray is November 5th 2013. If interested you can preorder from Amazon through the link below and save 43% off the retail price of 29.99. That’s right pay only 16.99 for Blu Ray or 16,98 for DVD saving 8.00 dollars off the retail price (32 % off)

Lovelace


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Machete Kills movie review

Danny Trejo hears the Machete Kills Movie Reviews

Writing a Machete Kills movie review should be a fun task. I am a huge Danny Trejo fan, and I loved the original Machete. I have been looking forward to Machete Kills since it was announced, and rushed to see it opening weekend. Sad to say, I was disappointed, and this has become a painful task.

Starting off with the good, there were a few great laughs in Machete Kills but they were too few and too far between. The casting of Charlie Sheen as the President of the United States was priceless. Almost every scene he is in is a winner. Mel Gibson as the evil billionaire was also fun to watch. All of the guest stars were fun to watch, and this was two of the biggest problems in Machete Kills.

First there were just too many guest stars and almost none of them got any serious screen time, and very little interaction with each other. Machete Kills became like a soup where too many good ingredients were thrown in, in haphazard amounts, and the finished product wasn’t very good. I think the first movie was so popular, that so many celebs wanted in and Rodriguez tried to shoehorn them all in. You actually have four different actors playing one character. The gimmick of that is funny, but none of the four get enough screen time.

The constant stream of familiar faces takes a toll on the returning cast from Machete. Jessica Alba has around two minutes of screen time. Michelle Rodriguez fares a little better but she doesn’t even appear till about the halfway point. There were several characters in the first movie that could have been fleshed out, and given more time and story in Machete Kills.

Some gimmicks, just look better in the trailer or still, than they did in the actual film. The biggest (no pun) was Sofia Vergara’s machine gun bra. The original publicity photo’s made it look awesome, but it just didn’t work for me in the film. When she introduced her “strap on”, it got a much bigger laugh from me. I think hiding the gorgeous chest of Sophia under an oversized metal bra was just counter intuitive.

Secondly, with all the stars, you almost forget Danny Trejo is in Machete Kills. Yes, he gets a lot of screen time, but his dialogue is mostly listing off things that “Machete don’t”. “Machete don’t text” was hilarious in the first movie, but it starts to wear thin in Machete Kills. Most of the scenes of Danny Trejo seem to be of him walking. Walking across the desert, walking to the rocket, walking to a garage, etc. Danny Trejo is an excellent actor, check him out in Sherry Baby if you think he can only do the tough killer/lawman character, and he deserves a better script than what he got here.

It’s fun to watch Danny kick ass, but this was just repetitive of the first movie, with less laughs, less fun moments, and just less fun overall. One major mistake in Machete Kills was establishing this idea that Machete is unkillable. In the original Machete, he was all too human, just tough as hell. He could be hurt. The hanging scene early on was just ridiculous, it spoils any notion that he was ever in any danger. Did I think he would get killed? No, but it’s different when you KNOW a character can’t be killed. It loses something.

Probably the worst thing I can say about Machete Kills was that it was boring. And it had no right to be boring. There were so many under used characters, so many decent ideas. But like guest stars they tried too much. Let’s not go with one plot but let’s throw in two or three. Just when you know what the movie is, it changes. Then it commits that serious movie crime of ending with a cliffhanger. I hate when movies just assume another sequel is coming. Is it ego? Really Robert did you think the character is so popular that the fans will demand another one, even if Machete Kills bombs? I hate loose ends so I hope there is another one.

Machete Kills movie review: Alexa Vega sexy

If there is a sequel to Machete Kills, here is my advice. Strip it down. No new characters or guest stars (or a very few at the most). Tighten it down, concentrate on the four main characters who survived, Michelle Rodriguez, Amber Heard, Trejo and Gibson. Make them the focus of the main story line. More of Alexa Vega, she was woefully underused in her first “grown up” role. She showed real talent in Repo! the Genetic Opera, and thankfully, she showed her cute ass in Machete Kills. That two second tush shot was my favorite scene in Machete Kills. Lastly, do something with your nieces. The Avellan twins are smoking hot and extremely popular with fans. If you are going to use them, give them a role other than looking hot firing a machine gun. It’s time to see if they can act.

Give Danny Trejo more and better lines. He is Machete, and Machete don’t kill if he is underused. Make him that tough federale from the first movie, who is more than human, but still a human. And go with a grainy look to the film. Don’t try and make a “bad” exploitation movie, and make it look so clean. Plus that intestine scene? It’s been done twice in the first film and now Machete Kills. It’s old and no longer shocking, time to retire it.

The women of Machete Kills

If Machete Kills Again: In Space!! happens, I’ll be there. I just hope there’s more laughs, more action, and more Trejo with better lines. More Alexa Vega wouldn’t hurt either, especially with more shots of that booty.

Thanks for reading my Machete Kills movie review

Lana Clarkson, Barbarian Queen (part 2)

Lana Clarkson Beyond the Sword and Sorcery

Lana Clarkson

continued from part 1, Lana Clarkson the Barbarian Queen

Lana Clarkson had several small roles throughout her Hollywood career. While mostly remembered for her roles in Deathstalker and Barbarian Queen (and it’s straight to video sequel), she had a much longer career than that. Her first speaking role was in the coming of age classic Fast Times of Ridgemont High. She also had bit roles in television series such as Happy Days, Wings, and Silk Stalkings, as well as roles in movies as diverse as Scarface and Amazon Women on the Moon. At six foot high she was the embodiment of the blonde goddess, and while never making the “A” list, she was constantly working.

She was also a kind and loving soul. In the 1980s when fear of Aids was epidemic, she began volunteering with Project Angelfood, delivering food to those disabled by HIV, Aids, cancer, and other life threatening illnesses. According to her website she continued her involvement throughout her career and life. This alone makes her life worth celebrating, and eclipses her fame. It also lays to rest any assertion that she was no more than a pretty face, and was far from a blonde bimbo.

Barbarian_queen

The Sad and Tragic Death of Lana Clarkson

In the 2001, Lana developed, wrote and produced a showcase reel called “Lana Unleashed.” It was meant to showcase her comedic talents, and hopefully open a new career path as a comedic actress. To help finance her new career path, she took odd jobs including working for the House of Blues in Los Angeles. It was here, on a fateful night in 2003, that she met Phil Spector. Reportedly she first mistook the weird little man as a woman, but was corrected by the club management and told to “treat him like gold.” Apparently Spector took a liking to Lana and persuaded to join him at his home for a nightcap. According to his chauffeur for the night, Spector had been drinking heavily all night.

Early in the morning of Feb 3, 2009, Spector reportedly walked out of his mansion, up to his limousine and told his driver “I think I killed someone.” Inside his mansion, Lana Clarkson, the beautiful blonde starlet, the person kind enough to volunteer her time to the sick and dying, the actress who adored her fans, and posted to her website weekly, lay slumped in a chair, dead from a single bullet to the face.

The little man who killed Lana Clarkson claimed it was “accidental suicide” and that she had “kissed the gun.” The defense, and David Mamet, in his fantasy bio pic “Phil Spector” for HBO, claimed she was depressed, and suicidal over turning 40, and her failed career. Her family, and her fans don’t buy that crap. Lana was turning a new page in her career. Experts agree people rarely commit suicide spur of the moment, and Lana was posting on her web site right up till the end.

Phil Spector the man who murdered Lana Clarkson

Phil Spector however, had a history of waving guns in the face of young women, while under the influence of alcohol and medication. One woman described it as an accident waiting to happen. If asked my personal opinion, and based on accounts from other women, I believe that Spector, drunk from a night of binge drinking, high on prescription drugs, killed Lana Clarkson in a drunken rage, when she refused his sexual advances. Then realizing what he did resulted in his confession of sorts to his driver.

No one will ever know exactly what happened there except Phil Spector. But one thing that her family and fans agree upon, was that she was not the depressed, washed up, B movie actress that Spector apologists are trying to paint her. Working as a bouncer at the Hard Rock doesn’t demean her in my eyes, but just shows that she was willing to work, even at menial jobs, in order to survive and succeed. I will never believe that she took her own life, even as an accident. Maybe Spector didn’t. purposely shoot her, but he bears the weight of her death. It was his gun, he pulled it, and most agree, he pulled the trigger.

Lana Clarkson is gone, taken way too soon, at way too early an age. The old adage, the candle that burns the brightest burns the shortest applies to Lana. While her career may never have been extremely bright, her life was. She gave back to her fans, and she gave to the sick and needy, who might never have heard her name. Phil Spector snuffed out that candle way too soon,and the world is a little darker without Lana Clarkson.

Barbarian Queen


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Lana Clarkson the Barbarian Queen (part 1)

Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Sword And Sorcery Collection (Deathstalker, Deathstalker II, The Warrior And The Sorceress & Barbarian Queen)


Remembering Lana Clarkson

Lana Clarkson is the Barbarian Queen

A couple nights ago, a friend asked me if I had ever did a review for Deathstalker. Well I haven’t neither here, on Lord Dixie’s Dark Domain, or in any other form. I have seen Deathstalker, and remember the title, but not much more other than it featured Lana Clarkson. Lana went on to star in Barbarian Queen and it’s sequel. I had actually seen Barbarian Queen before Deathstalker, and enjoyed it more. Why? Because Lana had a bigger role. I once owned Barbarian Queen on VHS and I wish I knew where that tape was now.

Young Lana Clarkson

You see Lana Clarkson is really the only reason to recommend either Deathstalker or either of the Barbarian Queen movies. Lana was a beautiful, blonde, busty goddess, who deserved much more fame than she ever got. While Barbarian Queen and Deathstalker made her famous, they may have hurt her career in the long run, at least as far as becoming an “A” list celebrity. The films emphasis on female nudity, and violent sexuality did little to promote her as a serious and capable actress. They did create a cult following for Lana that still lasts. Sadly Lana was taken from her fans way to soon in 2003.

DeathStealker, the debut of Lana Clarkson

Lana Clarkson in Deathstalker

I don’t remember much about Deathstalker other than the lovely Lana Clarkson. I just recently watched it again for the first time in ages, and still the most memorable thing about it was Lana. Part of this is due to her tragic death, it just made me want to focus more on the beautiful starlet. But most is due to Lana’s commanding screen presence. Her personality was ten times higher than her six foot frame. Deathstalker also featured the drop dead gorgeous Playboy model and cover girl Barbi Benton in a supporting role. The fact that Lana, could make such an impression in a film with Barbi, just shows you how much screen presence she had. It didn’t hurt that Lana spent the film topless, wearing only a g-string and cape.

The plot, was that the warrior Deathstalker, played by Richard Hill, was given a task to recover two artifacts from the evil sorcerer Munkar. He travels to a tournament held by Munkar to determine his successor. Along the way he runs into the bare breasted female warrior Kaira, played by Lana Clarkson, and the warrior Oghris, played by Richard Brooker. Brooker, who sadly passed of a heart attack in April, 2013, was best known to horror fans from his role as Jason Voorhees in Friday the 13th part 3. Clarkson character of Kaira, is killed in a sword fight, but Deathstalker manages to win the tournament and recover the artifacts, while uncovering Barbi Benton.

As much as I was, and still am, a fan of sword and sorcery, it was the two lovely ladies, and especially Lana Clarkson, that made me enjoy Deathstalker. Riding off the success of Conan the Barbarian, and the busty ladies, Deathstalker was enough of a success to spawn Barbarian Queen.

Lana Clarkson is the Barbarian Queen.

Lana Clarkson as the Barbarian Queen

Spawned by the popularity of Deathstalker, and more so the popularity of Lana Clarkson,Barbarian Queen was born. Deathstalker had seen a moderate profit and producer Roger Corman saw a strong female capable of carrying her own movie. Barbarian Queen might will never be talked about as one of the greatest movies of all time, it was about on par with other sic fi fantasy films produced by Corman. Filled with cheesy effects, badly dubbed supporting characters, and amateurish sword fights, it would be just a foot note in film history except for Clarkson’s demanding presence.

Set in Roman times, Barbarian Queen stars Clarkson as Amathea, queen of a small village. On the queen’s wedding day a Roman raiding party attacks the village, killing or capturing almost every villager. Amathea, and her two surviving warrior women track the raiding party and infiltrate the city. Inside the city they are captured, one of the women is killed trying to escape, and Clarkson is tied topless to a rack in the most infamous scene of the movie.

There she is tortured by a weird metal glove with a sharp tip that pokes her breast forcing her to squirm, and each movement tightens the rack. The sight of the beautiful, toned blonde bombshell’s nearly nude body being stretched taut was mouthwatering to young male viewers, and I remember it fondly. Well, I did watch it again just before writing this, so it’s fresh in my mind. Yeah it is a torture scene, but it’s completely bloodless. The only thing to really let you know it’s a torture is Clarkson’s moans and writhing, along with her sweaty body, which really didn’t help to turn down the heat.

Honestly, I’m not really sure why they were torturing her other than for shits and giggles, but the Queen remains defiant. Eventually the torturer decides to just rape her. As common as rape is in Barbarian Queen, it’s only shocking that he waited this long. During the rape scene, Amathea quickly takes control. She is able to grab and squeeze his penis with her vagina (honest injun), until he is in such pain he has to release her. We should all be forced to submit in a similar way. She then saves the poor guy from an embarrassing explanation of how the queen escapes by killing him.

Amathea is meets up with the city’s rebel underground and decides to join them in overthrowing the city. Together they attack the city, liberating the slaves and exacting vengeance. Without anymore penis squeezing, except possibly from the audience.

The rape, torture scenes are sure to offend some people, but the scene is handled in such a way that’s it’s more sexual than violent. I’m not saying that’s better, and yes, in ways that worse than watching an extremely violent rape scene, just stating the facts, M’am. When I first watched Barbarian Queen back in the 80s, I was more turned on than appalled at the torture scene. The torture sequence is a bit harder to watch now, knowing what happened to Lana.

Still, it’s a must see for fans of cult and bad cinema. Lana might not be held in the same regard as other cult icons, like Sid Haig, or Linea Quigley, but she deserves a spot there. She was probably the first strong, leading lady in a fantasy epic, and don’t let the nudity fool, you Amathea was a strong character. Roger Corman has referred to her as the original Xena, and there is a lot of truth in that statement.

To be continued in the Tragic Death of Lana Clarkson

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New Releases Cult FIlm

Three new releases this week that might interest fans of cult films or horror films in general, although one is more of a comedy. Simply click on the smaller picture to be taken to Amazon.com to purchase, read full reviews or just to shop. New releases are in stock, coming soon will ship when available. I will update or make new posts as new releases become available in DVD and especially in Blue Ray. Be sure to check coming soon items as some have DVD options already available. I also plan on adding a VHS section in the near future.

One of the infamous “video Nasties” starring Udo Kier and Linda Hayden. See what all of the fuss was about in this new release

New release House on Straw Hill

 

Screen legends Veronica Lake and Fredrick March in the story of a Salem Witch, played by Lake, burned at the stake who comes back to haunt the descendants of her killers, especially March

New release I married a witch

 

 
Genre favorite, Danny Trejo kills zombies in this new release. What else do you need to know? Make sure to catch Danny Trejo in Machete Kills, opening this weekend nationwide

New release Danny Trejo

and coming soon….

The Haunting [Blu-ray]


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